I don’t know if you sometimes wonder – or even seriously ask yourself – “what if…”, or “had I known…”, or again, “only if…” – you can fill in the blanks. I do, sometimes, but I know I ought not. I am really training myself not to.
All this wondering and self-questioning is couched in past experiences and reality in retrospect. Yet, at the time of the experience, there was only so much information and knowledge about what may now be the truth. At any given moment we can only know so much. Even predictions of results are simply that – prediction – not the whole truth.
What we know at any particular time is informed by external, physical circumstances, social environment as well as emotions, needless to say that all these are variable, and not the whole truth.
Such questions cause pain, shame, resentment, blame, and similar negative feelings that drain energy. That energy would, more properly be directed to the present moment, accepting that what is, was meant to be. There is no blame for it, no shame and no resentment. Listen to what is, learn and act calmly, knowing that there is still a lot that will become clear in the future.
And when that happens, accept it, don’t blame yourself or anyone else and adjust according to the available information and knowledge. That is positive and joyful.